Two years of deep introspection; of learning to feel whole in the isolation; of living the questions.
The present moment is simply a culmination of all the things, all the decisions- both good and bad- that have led me to this place, in this house, in a country I never even dreamed of.
Bhutan has taught me so many unexpected lessons, things I didn't even know I needed to learn: How to be comfortable in the silence; how to enjoy those long hours void of all stimulation; how to find motivation when there is no deadline in sight; how to not questions the things I don't understand; to have faith in the unseen; to embrace the unknown; to stare boldly into the eyes of my mortality... To not take life so seriously; to not judge; to not feel guilty. To understand the power of a smile and to recognize that words are so often futile; that you cannot capture something that does not wish to be defined. That ambition, control and freedom are illusions of the ego. That the only thing that's real is the way you feel when you're alone in nature. That the only thing a person will remember about you is how you made them feel. That compassion means nothing unless it is transformed into action. To accept that we don't always get what we want... and to understand that maybe what we want isn't necessarily what we need. To be okay in knowing that all good things come to an end; and that the end is really just a new beginning.
Bhutan has taught me so many unexpected lessons, things I didn't even know I needed to learn: How to be comfortable in the silence; how to enjoy those long hours void of all stimulation; how to find motivation when there is no deadline in sight; how to not questions the things I don't understand; to have faith in the unseen; to embrace the unknown; to stare boldly into the eyes of my mortality... To not take life so seriously; to not judge; to not feel guilty. To understand the power of a smile and to recognize that words are so often futile; that you cannot capture something that does not wish to be defined. That ambition, control and freedom are illusions of the ego. That the only thing that's real is the way you feel when you're alone in nature. That the only thing a person will remember about you is how you made them feel. That compassion means nothing unless it is transformed into action. To accept that we don't always get what we want... and to understand that maybe what we want isn't necessarily what we need. To be okay in knowing that all good things come to an end; and that the end is really just a new beginning.
Nothing is ever lost. Nothing is ever gained.
In spite of the hypocrisy and the mis-truths and the growing greed I have witnessed in Bhutan, I will leave this place with nothing but gratitude. I will remember only that indescribable feeling of wonder for the surreal beauty of this tiny Kingdom.
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” - Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903, Letters to a Young Poet.
If this is goodbye forever, then let us part with happy hearts for the time we were gifted together. And if I should be so lucky to see you again, may it be filled with new insights and undiscovered trails.
Thank you, Kadrinche-la, Tashi Delek!
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